I wanted to have an affair and I looked for ways to make it happen.
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I’d been with my husband for 10 years, but I knew it was a mistake.
I’d done what many people of my age – late 40s – did, and settled for someone.
Millions of adulterous users of the website Ashley Madison – which bills itself as a dating site for married people – have spent this week worrying about having their membership and their cheating secrets revealed after a group calling itself Impact Team hacked into their profiles.
Some commentators have rejoiced in what they see as a deserved comeuppance for those who have been indulging in digital infidelity, while others argue the users are victims of a grave breach of privacy.
While I um and ah about forking out another wedge, the messages start to arrive.
One is old enough to be my mother and has a username that, without giving too much away, is an instruction to engage part of my mouth with a baked good she has in her possession.
Testing if the experience is gender-specific, I coax a female colleague (see right) into signing up to a rival site. On a separate account, posing as a woman, I get chatting to a male user.
She emails me moments later: “I haven’t even finished setting up my bio and I’ve been ‘favourited’ twice.”I vow to get proactive. ” and take an indiscriminate copy-and-paste approach. I reveal I’m a journalist and he is happy to discuss his experiences.
When matches started to come through, it was incredibly exciting. He seemed clever and funny, so I arranged to meet him in a bar one summer evening, telling my husband that I was out with work colleagues.