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This double-talk taught me that a majority of these guys are just in it to get their rocks off in ways they aren't getting at home. Just don't plan on walking down the aisle or living together when his philosophy is clearly just about sex.

That includes everything from oral sex to bondage, from clamps to anal sex. The truth is, married men have too much baggage and too many rules!

Shocking as it may seem to some of you, this phenomena is not new.

I've also joined the ranks of the "happily divorced" and I'm no longer messing around with other married men, disengaging from the experience and pretending to be something I'm not.

However, contrary to popular belief, there are more "married men looking for married men" out there.

Society's lack of education and understanding towards alternatives to heterosexuality has forced people, men and women, into hiding in mixed-orientation marriages.

This leads to people not living their authentic lives, nasty divorces, children who question their own sexuality after a parent comes out and numerous other problems, not to mention unhappy endings (not the massage kind).

and p.m., behind the half-burned building on 12th and Oak.

Park your car on 13th and make sure no one sees you.

Cybersex • Personal Health: First Step Is Recognizing the Signs of Internet Abuse (May 16, 2000) Related Articles • Health: Behavior • Health Columns • The New York Times on the Web: Science/Health Forum • Join a Discussion on Mental Health and Treatment ex is the hottest topic among adult users of the Internet, with studies showing that fully a third of all visits directed to sexually oriented Web sites, chat rooms and news groups. And it's very difficult to treat because the people affected don't want to give it up." Those most strongly hooked on Internet sex are likely to spend hours each day masturbating to pornographic images or having "mutual" online sex with someone contacted through a chat room.

For most people these forays into cybersex are relatively harmless recreational pursuits, but experts in the field say that the affordability, accessibility and anonymity of the Internet are fueling a brand new psychological disorder -- cybersex addiction -- that appears to be spreading with astonishing rapidity and bringing turmoil to the lives of those affected. Occasionally, they progress to off-line affairs with sex partners they meet online. Al Cooper of Stanford, who has conducted the largest and most detailed survey of online sex, calls the Net "the crack cocaine of sexual compulsivity." The survey, conducted online among 9,265 men and women who admitted surfing the Net for sexually oriented sites, indicated that at least 1 percent were already seriously hooked on online sex.

Okay, maybe all men who are playing around on the side are thinking with their penises instead of their heads.

Not sure if it's the thrill of the adventure or what, but I've encountered—both in my personal life and among the clients I've worked with—married men who take sexual risks, have sex more frequently than the average gay man and seem to see themselves as invincible because they're "married and only playing with other married men." Last time I checked, STDs don't discriminate between single, married, gay and straight. Often, people tend to seek help from those who haven't traveled a similar path. Just remember, you need to understand not only how you've hidden it for all these years, but how to come clean and be authentic about who you are, so you can someday become a married gay man ... Rick Clemons, The Coming Out Coach: Certified Professional Coach (CPC), Energy Leader Index, Master Practioner (ELI-MP), International Coach Federation, Associate Certified Coach (ACC).

And make sure you wear something that makes you blend in!

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